Once your kid heads off to college, your role shifts—but it doesn’t disappear. You’re not packing their lunch or checking their homework anymore. But what you can do is give them the foundation to take care of themselves in real, practical ways. Not surface-level self-care. Not “treat yourself” fluff. What they need are tools for staying mentally, physically, and emotionally balanced when no one’s reminding them.
Here’s a breakdown of what healthy self-care looks like in a college setting, what usually goes wrong, and how you can support them—without micromanaging.
1. Sleep Should Be Protected, Not Sacrificed
Sleep is the first thing to get cut when students are overwhelmed. But it affects everything—focus, immune function, stress, decision-making. It’s not just about being tired. It’s about how the brain and body recover.
What to encourage:
Talk about the importance of sticking to a regular sleep schedule, even if their classes start late. Remind them to aim for 7–9 hours, not just survive on caffeine. If you send care packages, skip the Red Bull and include things that promote rest—tea, a sleep mask, earplugs.
Common issue:
They’ll stay up binge-watching or partying, thinking they’ll “catch up.” Sleep debt doesn’t work like that. It accumulates.
2. Eating Habits Matter More Than You Think
Meal schedules in college are chaotic. Skipping breakfast, overeating late at night, and living on fast food is common. It’s not just about weight—it’s about how they think, feel, and function.
What to encourage:
Send healthy snacks. Talk about keeping protein on hand. Suggest building meals around whole foods—not just frozen stuff. Normalize not being perfect, but making better choices most of the time.
Common issue:
Stress eating and relying on caffeine to power through. That crashes hard.
3. They Need Structure, Even If It’s Loose
Without the rigid schedule of high school, many students struggle to manage time. That leads to stress, procrastination, and burnout.
What to encourage:
Recommend using a simple planner or app to organize their week. Suggest blocking out study hours, workouts, meals, and downtime. Offer to talk through their weekly schedule together—if they want help. Don’t force it.
Common issue:
Letting everything slide until there’s a crisis. College doesn’t reward last-minute survival mode.
4. Physical Movement Is Self-Care, Not a Chore
Exercise boosts mood, energy, and resilience. Many students stop moving once they’re out of sports or PE.
What to encourage:
Ask about their campus gym or intramural sports. Suggest short workouts that don’t require much—walking, stretching, yoga, bodyweight circuits. Make movement normal, not about appearance.
Common issue:
Feeling like it’s “too late” if they haven’t been active. Remind them it’s never too late to start.
5. Teach Them How to Say No
FOMO is real. Students feel pressure to join everything or attend every event. Burnout follows.
What to encourage:
Give them permission to prioritize. Talk about choosing quality over quantity in friendships and commitments. Let them know boundaries are healthy and necessary.
Common issue:
Overcommitting to the point where nothing gets full attention. Help them notice the signs.
6. Mental Health Needs Maintenance, Not Just Rescue
College brings real emotional stress. From academic pressure to loneliness, students need tools to manage what they feel—not just bury it.
What to encourage:
Ask if they’ve located the counseling center. Mention that mental health support is a sign of strength, not weakness. Suggest journaling, deep breathing, or talking to someone they trust.
Common issue:
Waiting until they’re overwhelmed to get help. Make it okay to reach out early.
7. Social Connection Requires Intention
It’s possible to feel isolated even when surrounded by people. Many students withdraw quietly when they’re struggling.
What to encourage:
Ask them who they’ve been spending time with—not to pry, but to show you care. Encourage them to join one club or group that matches their interests. Help them recognize the difference between social media and actual connection.
Common issue:
Replacing real friendships with phone scrolling. It doesn’t work.
8. Technology Can Be a Lifeline—or a Trap
Phones are both a tool and a distraction. Left unchecked, they ruin sleep, focus, and self-esteem.
What to encourage:
Talk about screen boundaries. Recommend turning off notifications or setting limits on apps. Help them track how they feel after long phone sessions. If your communication is mostly via text, model healthy habits—don’t expect 24/7 responses.
Common issue:
Using screens to avoid emotions or responsibilities. Escaping instead of processing.
9. Encourage Using Campus Support Systems Early
Colleges have resources: free counseling, wellness workshops, peer mentors, tutoring. But many students assume they don’t “deserve” help unless they’re failing.
What to encourage:
Have them look up available resources early in the semester. Suggest visiting the counseling center, even for one session. Normalize the idea of asking for help. If they get overwhelmed, guide them back to those resources without trying to solve it all yourself.
Common issue:
Suffering in silence. They need reminders that help exists before things fall apart.
10. Self-Care Is a Skill, Not an Instinct
Your child isn’t lazy or irresponsible if they don’t get this stuff right away. Most young adults aren’t taught these habits. They have to learn them through trial and error. Your job now is to equip, not control.
What to do as a parent:
Have real conversations. Ask how they’re really doing—not just about classes, but how they’re sleeping, eating, managing time. Listen more than you talk. Share your own challenges and what worked (or didn’t) for you. Encourage progress over perfection.
Final Thought
College isn’t just academic—it’s emotional, physical, social, and psychological. If your young adult can learn how to take care of themselves in those areas, they’re gaining more than a degree. They’re learning how to build a sustainable life.
And that’s where you come in—not to fix things, but to keep the door open, offer support without judgment, and remind them: they’ve got what it takes. They just need to keep showing up for themselves. Every day. One step at a time.
